Threatening, Blaming, Shouting, Defiance (Defense Mechanism Series – Addiction)

Defense Mechanisms Threatening, Blaming, Shouting, Defiance Today is the next in my series on Defense Mechanisms used in addiction: drug, alcoholism, or behavioral (also known as process) addiction. Defense mechanisms are the behaviors that addicts use to protect their use by keeping those close to them away. These methods can be passive, aggressive, cooperative, or hostile. What they have in...[ read more ]

Defense Mechanism (series) – Manipulation, Accusing, Judging, Projecting

We have been introducing and delving into various defense mechanisms that addicts use with family members, friends, and even themselves. The introduction to the series is here featuring denial, lying, silence. The post discussing the use of humor, compliance, and minimizing is found here. Our discussion thus far has centered on tactics that are in the category of passive or...[ read more ]

Teens, Parents, and Drinking

It’s not uncommon for parents to adopt the perspective that they can teach responsible drinking by allowing “it” at home. I’ve been deeply concerned about this, but now there is meta-research supporting my concern.   The perceived logic is understandable: We’ll allow our teen to drink at home, under our supervision and our teen we see what social, normal, responsible...[ read more ]

Defense Mechanism Series – Humor, Compliance, and Minimizing

Defense Mechanisms (Denial Series) Humor, Compliance, Minimizing   In a series of blog posts, we are highlighting and discussing in detail defense mechanisms of addicts. To help concerned family members and loved ones understand the forms that "denial" takes, we are looking at the various ways an addicted brain finds to protect the addict’s use of drugs, alcohol, and addicted...[ read more ]

Defense Mechanisms (Denial Series)

Denial, Lying, Silence, and Withdrawing  First, a brief science summary: A brain that is hijacked by addiction seeks to protect the use of substances (or the behavioral – process) addiction. A person who suffers with this disease will develop defense mechanisms – what most people call “denial” – in order to keep people away from identifying the truth of the severity of the...[ read more ]

6 Point Checklist for When Your Family Member Comes Home from Addiction Treatment

Welcoming a family member home after substance abuse treatment is an emotionally charged time. Family members are usually excited, encouraged, and hopeful. They are also usually hesitant, guarded, and uncertain. Use my 6-point checklist below to help guide your decisions and interactions in the early days and weeks after your loved one comes home from treatment.   Become educated regarding addiction as an illness...[ read more ]

5 Mistakes Family Members Make When Their Loved One Comes Home from Addiction Treatment

You’ve been waiting, and perhaps even praying, for this for a long time. Your family member finally agreed to get treatment and has successfully completed in patient treatment. It’s both a celebratory – and anxiety producing – time. Below find 5 things that families should NOT do when their loved one comes home.     Withdrawal love and affection. It’s common and understandable that your...[ read more ]

Money Monday – Book Review – You Are a BadAss at Making Money

You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero     First, a confession: I am a self-help and positive thinking junkie. That’s a bold and possibly risky admission for an addiction specialist to use the term “junkie” but I have been a reader and avid consumer of inspirational and self-help material since before I got my own act together in 1991....[ read more ]

Criticism, Feedback, Constructive Suggestion – Or as I like to call it “Terror”

I recently “put myself out there” in terms of (gulp) asking for feedback. for me. I am a perfectionist in (perpetual) recovery. I struggle daily with remembering that done is better than perfect.  To give an illustration of the burden this has been on me, I began 873 journals as a child and teen and never made it past page 3...[ read more ]

Is Your Relationship With Money Affecting Your Recovery from Substance Abuse?

Money is not talked about nearly enough in the recovery community. That’s unfortunate; it is one of the areas that can have significant impact on the quality of sobriety, happiness, and personal growth and integrity.   It’s common for persons with the disease of addiction to have had a damaged, dishonest, and dangerous relationship with money. The image of an addict stealing from family...[ read more ]

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